Wrecked: Part II

Thank you for your overwhelming support and kindness to me after my last post, my dear cyber supporters (and those of you I actually get to see face-to-face, too!) ;)

I have been affirmed time and time again for posting that. It's a conscious decision of letting yourself be seen by anyone and everyone by posting something like that and NO, I am not sorry I did, nor ashamed that people know that about me now. It's actually quite freeing.

Look, I know that to some it may have been a shock, and to others, a sigh of relief: she IS real. Yes. I am human. I do struggle with doubts, fears, insecurities, just like everyone else. And sometimes I need to remind myself of the last part of that sentence, "just like everyone else." My friend Amber said it really well yesterday:

Wrecked

**This post is long, yes, and it's raw. I didn't go back and take out the ugly things, the not-so-put-together things. I am not looking for pity. Prayers, yes. But mostly, I feel like I need to just get real with the world. No more hiding. Read if you dare. if you care to.**

Nowadays, the term wrecked is used to denote many types of situations--a sweater that has a large stain in the center, a car smashed into a pole, a person that sees traumatic, emotionally damaging scenes and is left emotionally distraught (with empathy.)

I'm sure at some point I've seen the first two, whether in person or on the news. And I've definitely been in the position of the latter description. I've been to developing countries, seen a lack of hope, and my heart has cried for those people.

But today, I find myself in a different "wrecked" situation. In my case, "wrecked" is a person emotionally distraught with self-pity.

Rachel loves Ruth

For 4 1/2 years, I've been sponsoring a beautiful girl in Rwanda named Ruth.

I've not been the ideal, perfect sponsor, but I am learning a lot about what it means to sponsor someone in another part of the world, whom I've never met. It is one of the most challenging things in my life. I feel restrained. I want to do more for her. But what? I want to just hug her and love on her and give her lots of smiles. But I'm so far away.

I love looking up at Ruth's picture on my wall and trying to imagine what she's doing right now. I think, "is she in school, or helping carry water, gather wood, or playing jump rope with her siblings? What is she wearing today? her pretty pink skirt, like the one in her picture?"

I pray that God keeps Ruth and her family healthy. I pray that he blesses their crops. I pray most of all that she comes to know Jesus personally and love him dearly. I pray that my sponsorship of Ruth can help make that possible. I also pray that God would change me through this process of sponsorship. I want my heart to be more and more like Jesus'. I want to love people without hesitation.

Do you want to help make it possible for a child somewhere in this world to be provided for and to be taught about the living hope possible through Jesus? Maybe you have some money, and have been asking God where He wants you to give it. Maybe you have just a little time, but would love to write to a child, send him stickers and cards, just to make his day.

Don't just think the nice thoughts, cry a couple tears, and never move.

 

You can change a child's life.

 

Do something.

 

Sponsor a child.

 

You can do this a couple ways:

 

1. There's a child on my Compassion blog page that you can sponsor right now.

 

2. You can always go to compassion.com

 

The day I chose to sponsor Ruth, her life changed. You'll never know the joy that brings me unless you sponsor a child. Knowing that I am impacting another person whom I've never met--that's amazing. my heart is being transformed because of it.




follow the link. click your mouse, and change a life. (maybe two).

Throwback Thursday

It all started with a box of Barbie cards my sister and I found in our room. We used to use them for a game, years ago. We wanted to play it again, so we decided to set aside a day; a day on which to do things that we enjoyed as kids but haven't done for years.

This day became known as "Retro Day".

Today we got up and asked "when should we do Retro Day?"
--How about today?
"sure, why not?"




But if you're gonna do Retro Day right, you can't just pull out the game and play. You have to eat foods we ate as kids--snacks and drinks included.

 

 

you have to put on music from back in the day (say, Amy Grant). Then you have to get your game face on, and play!

 

After two rounds of Barbie cards it was time for some bubble-blowing. and not that soapy stuff. I started off with a pretty wimpy attempt and then it was Krissy's turn.

She didn't do much better.

 

 

gettin' bigger...

 

We were both pretty messy.

 

 

We finally got a good one of Krissy!

 

But I think I get the prize.. (not braggin or anything)

 

Well, I would say Retro Day was a success!! Makes me thankful to have a sister. (Who else would be a complete goof with me for a day?)

 

So, this got me thinkin.. what do YOU miss doing as a kid? I'd love to hear some funny stories, or just good ol fond memories. Any takers?

 





Life in Limbo

"So what are you doing now?"

That's the question I've gotten most in recent weeks. Answer: Not a tons. But a lot, at the same time.

Here's the thing--there's lots of pressure to find a job, make money, etc. But I'm not dying. I'll be ok for a bit. I have money saved. It's real strange to come back to your home after making your home in a foriegn country for a year, and well, I think my heart needs a rest.

Part of me wants to jump right into something, anything, to know that I'm doing something of importance. But the other part just reminds me that I'm not quite done letting go of (not sure if that's the best term. maybe processing, greiving the end of...etc) last year. I know I need to be fully where I am, but my heart is lagging behind on this one.

Don't get me wrong--I LOVE being home. I love seeing good friends, family (my little nephew and niece, who we just sent off yesterday to visit Korea for 5 weeks!), and spiritual family; I love meeting new people and sharing about what God's doing in other parts of the world. But I guess the uncertainty of what's next is pulling me into a state of longing for the "good ol' days." Those being, of course, ones when I was busy doing something that I deemed worthy of doing. And I guess I've been trying to figure out--what is worthy of doing now, here? What does my heart crave to be a part of?

But the real question is, what does God want me to do today? What does HE say is worthy of doing?
Would you pray with me for God to show up in real ways and direct my attention, my desires, my path? My friend and mentor, Denise, shared with me that, as "cliche" or "sunday school-ish" as it may sound, going back to Proverbs 3:5-6 has been so helpful in the midst of the limbo-like life. I am deciding right now to pray that verse every day, as I begin my morning.

See, there are a number of things that I am considering right now. I am looking into Social Work jobs in my area, things with international organizations, other ministries, and I am just not quite sure where I should be focusing. Right now I am learning to focus on today. my family. my time spent talking with Jesus. And that's ok.

In addition to these things, I have begun to read through a book with my friend Evette, and I am loving the process of reading something together. I would encourage all of you to do it. Choose a book to go through with a friend or family member. Start reading it and discuss it every so often. :) I think you'll love it, too. With that in mind, I put up a page on this blog called "Recently Reading". Click on the link on the right side to see a list of books that I am currently, or have recently, read. You may find something interesting.

With that, I will sign off and get back to reading and dreaming big. Thanks for the prayers. I am grateful for you. Peace and joy!